Who They
Foolin’?
From
celebrities to CEOs, many successful people suffer from
syndrome called ‘impostor phenomenon’
November 17, 2002
By Kim Lamb Gregory
When
she asked to be president of the National Association of
Women Business Owners of Ventura County, Jerri Hemsworth
smiled and accepted but inside she was thinking, “Do they
really know I don’t know what the hell I’m doing?” she
recalled with a chuckle.
The
Woodland Hills businesswoman was just as self-effacing about
the graphics design service she launched six years ago that
has since blossomed into Newman Grace, Inc., a full-service
ad agency.
“I sit
back and I think, ‘I can’t believe presidents of companies
and marketing directors are taking me seriously,’” she said.
“In reality, I o know what I’m talking about, but I
don’t feel that way.”
Contrary to the stereotype of the cocky CEO barking orders
aboard a company jet, many successful people are more like
Hemsworth: humbled and amazed by their success.
They
wonder if it will all disappear the minute somebody
discovers what they think is their terrible secret − that
they’re really impostors.
Any
moment, Hemsworth joked, she expects the Impostor Police to
“knock on my door and say, ‘Hey! You didn’t go to art
school!’” she said.
The
fact of the matter is, folks like Hemsworth are not faking
it. They are competent and conscientious but have a terrible
time seeing what everybody else sees.
“I
just created an ad for a new client and I’m still waiting
for him to call up and say, ‘You’ve got to be kidding! You
want me to pay money for this?’” she said. “I’m stunned when
people call up and say, ‘You know, that ad worked so well.’”
Hemsworth could be among legions of successful people yoked
to the “impostor phenomenon.” In spite of overwhelming
evidence to the contrary in the form of academic degrees,
recognition, promotions and awards, people suffering from
this syndrome don’t believe they are as bright or capable as
everybody else seems to believe they are.
The
syndrome was discovered by two psychologists in the late
1970s. One of them, Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., says she
still gets regular requests to this day for her 1986 book,
“The Impostor Phenomenon: When Success Makes You Feel Like a
Fake,” even though it is out of print.
“I get
calls from college students, executives, editors − different
people from a wide range of professions who are looking for
the book,” she said.
The
continuing demand for her book and testimony from people
like Hemsworth suggest the impostor phenomenon is alive and
well in the 21st century.
“I had
thought perhaps, at some point, there might be a change as
far as people experiencing the impostor phenomenon,” Clance
said, “but it’s still very relevant.”
A
phenomenon persists
Those
laboring under the impostor belief system attribute their
success to luck, timing, a fluke or’ some other capricious
external circumstances.
“We feel
like we’ve fooled people or charmed them and slipped through
the system,” said Valerie Young, Ph.D., a
Massachusetts-based writer/lecturer who travels the U.S.
giving seminars on the impostor phenomenon.
Young is
among those who have designed workshops, written books or
conducted further research on the syndrome, after Clance and
her contemporary, Suzanne Imes, Ph.D.; identified it in
1978.
Clance
and Imes, now both psychology professors at the University
of Georgia, discovered the phenomenon while working at
Overland College in Ohio, where the admissions standards are
steep.
Clance
was working with students who excelled academically, while
Imes was helping students who were failing or dropping out.
Clance
and Imes were surprised to learn that studel1ts who excelled
academically felt as if they were faking their achievements,
whereas the poor students were downright arrogant.
“Those
students were overestimating their abilities,” Clance
remembered. “They’d say, ‘This is an ‘A’ paper,’ or ‘I’ve
aced this one,’ and it would be a ‘C’ or a ‘D’ paper.”
The good
students felt as if they were in over their heads.
“Here I
was with these brilliant Overland students, and they were
saying, ‘I don’t know how I got in here. Maybe the
admissions committee made a mistake.’ “
Noticing
the problem was especially grave among coeds, Clance and
Imes researched and then wrote a 1978 report called “The
Impostor Phenomenon Among High-Achieving Women.”
They hit
a nerve.
Soon,
Clance and Imes were getting calls for interviews and TV
appearances, and Clance herself began to feel the stirrings
of the syndrome she had helped discover.
“When I
was getting book contracts and I was on the Donahue show and
‘The Today Show’ and Time magazine, I did begin to feel that
way,” Clance said. “Fortunately, because) had worked with
it, I could say, ‘OK, I’m getting “impostor” feelings.’ “
Gender-neutral syndrome?
Young,
who has a Ph.D. in education, first became interested in the
phenomenon after seeing it in herself.
Now 48,
she was sitting in a graduate studies class at the
University of Massachusetts one day in the early ‘80s when
another student rose to read excerpts from “The Impostor
Phenomenon Among High-Achieving Women.”
As she
listened to a report espousing the theory that some people
-- especially women fear they are not deserving of their
success and, are in fact fooling everybody, Young found
herself nodding vigorously in understanding.
“When I
snapped out of it, I looked around and all of the other
women graduates were nodding their heads, too,” she said.
A few
weeks later, she started a support group, then began doing
her doctoral research on understanding and eliminating the
psychological barriers preventing women from embracing their
full potential.
Both
Clance and Young’s empirical research suggests women are
just as likely as men to suffer from the impostor syndrome
but women are far more likely to admit it.
“Men were
more likely to acknowledge impostor feelings in an anonymous
survey,” Clance said.
Clance
believes that’s because men are largely socialized to deny
fear, or at least defy fear.
“In some
ways, they have been given a little bit more socialization
to go ahead in spite of the fear,” Clance said.
The Star
asked four men to be a part of this article, but all either
declined, or decided they felt too much mastery to fit the
mold.
Young is
not surprised.
“Anecdotally, there are men whom I tell (about the impostor
syndrome) and they say, ‘Oh yeah,’” Young said, “but so many
more of them look at me like I have two heads.”
Young
believes one of the reasons men may be less prone to
feelings of fraud may lie in the different way men and women
define “expertise.”
“In
general, women are more likely to look at success as needing
to be an expert,” Young said. “There’s always one more book
to read, one more skill to learn.”
Men grow
up learning how to wing it, she said.
“(Men
learn) how to exaggerate and boast and bluff,” Young
explained. “Girls feel like that’s lying. We do ‘true
confessions,’ like, ‘Oh, you liked that presentation?
Actually I forgot what I was saying halfway through. And
there was a typo on page 3.’”
Who feels
like a fake?
Women in
fields dominated by men are among those groups prone to “I
don’t belong here ~ I’m faking it” feelings.
Vicki
Arndt, 45, owner of a Westlake Village ‘financial planning
business, knows the feeling well. She opened Eagleson Arndt
Financial Advisors seven years, ago.
Besides
competing in the male-dominated, field of finance, she found
her ability really put to the test when the economy tanked.
“This has
been the most dramatic decline of the market since the Great
Depression,” she said.
“And my
business has grown. I tend to discount that, unfortunately.”
Other
subsets of people who may be prone to the impostor syndrome
are first-generation professionals and newly promoted
supervisors.
Even
those who don’t usually suffer from the impostor syndrome
might suddenly feel unauthentic when they find themselves
promoted.
“They
feel like, ‘Maybe I have gone in there and so1d’myself to do
this project or convinced my boss I could do this and I
really can’t,’” Clance said.
If you
sprang from blue-collar roots and are the first in your
family to finish college or work as a professional, you
could feel like a fraud, Clance said.
The
director of a leadership group for Hispanic teens sees this
all the time.
Gil
Cuevas, founder and executive director of Fillmore-based
Future Leaders of America, works with students whose
families have just arrived in the US from Mexico. When these
first-generation Mexican-Americans surpass the family’s
educational ceiling, the fake feelings can start.
Cuevas
recalls one local student who was accepted into Harvard
University.
“He was
brilliant. There was nothing to stop him academically, but
the environment was so alien to him; he was from a
traditional family,” Cuevas explained. “He had to take a
leave of absence after one semester, came home and got his
bearings, then went back.”
There’s
another peril to becoming the first in a working-class
family to move into the professional world. The feeling of
fraud can be exacerbated by family members who may feel
abandoned by the high-achieving family member. They may
subtly sabotage him or her with messages that he or she
doesn’t belong in “that” world.
“There’s
a price to be paid from a class perspective,” Young said.
“If you’re successful, people in your family and your
community look at you like, ‘Who do you think you are?’”
Family
values
Reasons
people develop the impostor syndrome are often rooted in
their families of origin.
“It could
be, ‘How did your parents define or perceive success?’”
Young explained.
Success
in Arndt’s family, for example, had a lofty definition.
“Our
parents were extraordinary,” said Arndt, whose one sibling
is an attorney. “My father was on the state Supreme Court.
... My mother was president of everything - Woman of the
Year.... We had a lot of modeling.”
Westlake
Village businesswoman Julie Ferman, 42, also had the success
bar set high. She also is acquainted with the impostor
syndrome.
“I’ve
been suffering from this all of my life,” she said.
She too,
expects the Impostor Paratroopers to parachute into her
front lawn and swoop her away, even though her Internet
dating service, Cupid’s Coach, has garnered national
attention.
Intrigued
by her emphasis on finding dates for singles over 50,
producers from “Good Morning America,” “The Today Show” and
“Oprah” and reporters from The Wall Street Journal are among
the national media who have recently contacted Ferman for
interviews. Yet, Ferman still wonders if she’s fooling
people.
“Every
organization I was ever in, I always rose to the top,” she
said, “but in the back of my mind, I remember my dad’s
critical eye.”
Families
who set the bar too high for their children may be setting
them up to feel like frauds, Clance said.
Ferman
believes that was the case in her family. No matter what she
achieved, her father, though well-meaning, would come up
with more things she could have done.
“I looked
to my dad for approval for so long,” Ferman said. “Dad died,
so I couldn’t get it.”
As Clance
explained, the child of a hypercritical parent feels that,
no matter what he or she accomplishes, it will never be good
enough. When as adults they receive outside praise, they can
interpret that as: “I was never a success at home, so I
couldn’t possibly be a success now. If these people don’t
see that, the only explanation is that I must be fooling
them.”
Syndrome
symptoms
The
impostor phenomenon can manifest itself many ways, including
perfectionism and procrastination.
To cover
up the fear that they’re faking it, many “impostors” work
twice as hard, bludgeoning themselves with unrealistic
perfectionism.
“There is
just no room for anything less,” Young said. “(Anything
less) just becomes proof that, ‘If I were really competent
and qualified and intelligent, I would know everything.’”
At first,
that was how Arndt felt. Failing at her business was not an
option, and she felt she had to have all the answers to the
stock market decline.
“Getting
OK with not having the answer has been a process,” Arndt
said. “The truth was that nobody had all the answers.”
Procrastination can be another coping mechanism.
“They
figure, ‘If I wait (until the last minute) and then I don’t
do so well, then I can say I just didn’t have the time,’
rather than, ‘I really don’t have the ability to do this,’”
Clance explained.
Getting
real
Conquering the impostor phenomenon starts with the knowledge
that you’re in good company.
“There
are a lot of people who have similar feelings and these are
normal feelings,” Clance said.
Next,
take a realistic look at the feedback you’re getting from
yourself and others.
“People
have learned to discount compliments,” Clance said. “Inside
they may be saying, ‘I did that well because I had a lot of
help,’ or, ‘It really wasn’t as hard as people think it
was.’”
If you
have had positive feedback from three or four objective
sources, chances are you’re not faking it - you’re
performing well.
When
facing a challenge that summons those “false” feelings,
Young also recommends “re-framing” your thoughts.
“Instead
of saying, ‘Oh my God, I don’t know what I’m doing,’ tell
yourself, ‘It’s OK not to know everything right away.’”
Also,
confide your fears to a mentor or friends you can trust.
Just acknowledging the fear and having friends help her put
those fears in perspective is what helped Ferman.
“That’s
the beautiful part of it,” she said.
“Little
by little; I finally started getting over it. My friends and
girlfriends have really helped.”
Finally,
both Clance and Young recommend that people fake it till
they make it. Go ahead in spite of the fear. Change can
happen “from the outside in,” Young said.
“People
kind of wait until they don’t feel like impostors anymore
before they take a risk,” Young said. “If you wait until
you’re completely confident, it’s never gonna happen.”
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Are you feeling like you don’t deserve it all??
Are you an impostor? Rather, do you think you are?
Here are some questions to clue you in on whether
you might suffer from impostor syndrome, which makes
people think they shouldn’t have as much as they
have:
-
Do you secretly worry that others will find out
that you’re not as birght and capable as they
think you are?
-
Do you sometimes shy away from challenges
because of nagging self-doubt?
-
Do you tend to chalk you accomplishments up to
being “a fluke” or “no big deal” or to the fact
that people just “like” you?
-
Do you hat making a mistake, being less than
fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
-
Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive
criticism, seeing it as evidence of your
“ineptness”?
-
When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I
fooled ‘em this time, but I may not be so lucky
next time.”
-
Do you believe that other people (students,
colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more
capable than you are?
-
Do you live in fear of being found out,
discovered, unmasked?
“If you answered ‘yes’ to any one of these
questions, join the club,” wrote Valerie Young, Ed.D.
and self-described “recovering impostor.”
Source: Valerie Young, Ed.D, who runs workshops and
speaks across the United States about “The Impostor
Syndrome.”
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