The Impostor Syndrome at Work

By Dr. Valerie Young

Do you dismiss your accomplishments as “no big deal” or “If I can do it, anybody can”? Do you agonize over even the smallest flaws in your work or beat yourself up when you make a mistake? Do you feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?” When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I fooled ‘em this time but I may not be so lucky next time.”

If so join the club.

Sarah, a corporate attorney and only female partner in her firm, can’t remember a time when she didn’t experience extreme anxiety leading up to a big court date. Although she’s always well prepared – often over-prepared – she was obsessed with the fear of mispronouncing a word in court convinced that one tiny slip would prove her to be incompetent.

Despite a solid track record, Sarah was unable to acknowledge or enjoy her success. Instead, each case she won brought with it a growing dread. “I was lucky this time, but what if I’m not as fortunate next time?” To her own surprise, one day she found herself absentmindedly perusing the want ads for waitress jobs. As she struggled to understand her own behavior, she realized that at least when she’d been a waitress she always knew what she was doing.

When Joanne landed a coveted spot in a doctoral program, she thought the admissions office had made a horrible mistake. Once in school she’d sometimes find herself imaging the admissions police storming into the classroom accusing her of impersonating an intellectual. Despite her advisor’s high praise for her intellect and research, Joanne procrastinated endlessly on writing her dissertation. Six years and thirty pounds later Joanne did complete her Ph.D. and was hired to teach at a prestigious college. Deep down though she felt she didn’t really deserve the degree and was only masquerading as a scholar.

LaTonya has always been drawn to the world of alternative medicine and healing. Tired of going no where in her customer service job she invested thousands of dollars and countless hours training to become a licensed massage therapist. After acing her certification exam she ordered business cards and even tinkered with a web site. Then she abruptly stopped. Two years later LaTonya continues to tread water in the secretarial pool paralyzed by the thought of actively promoting herself and her massage practice. “I can’t help but wonder if I’m really any good. I mean, if I can get licensed I guess anybody can.”

What you’ve just seen is the “Impostor Syndrome” in action. Despite clear evidence to the contrary, these talented, accomplished women feel inadequate to do the work they are fully capable of performing. Instead they believe they are somehow “fooling” other people into thinking they are brighter and more capable than they “know” themselves to be. Deep down they feel like impostors, fakes, and frauds.

You may not be an attorney, a college professor, or aspiring small business owner, but I have a feeling that you have a lot in common with the Sarah’s, Myra’s and LaTonya’s of the world. First of all I bet you’re pretty smart. I don’t necessary mean “book smart,” although there’s a good chance that you have at least one degree. In fact you may have two or even three. Some might consider you a high achiever, although it’s unlikely you see yourself that way.

You’re the kind of person who likes to know everything you possibly can about the subject at hand before stepping out there. After all you’re not about to risk speaking up in front of others, going after that plum assignment, or selling yourself as some kind of expert unless you’re totally prepared. I’m not talking here about doing your home work. I’m talking about needing to know 150 percent.

And when you do make a mistake you have a really hard time forgiving yourself. And those major screw ups? Well, you can obsess about these for days, weeks, months, sometimes even years. After all, it’s your failures that really count – right? So you avoid them at all costs.

Which means you’re probably somewhat of a perfectionist. Not only do you like to get everything just right, but you like to do it right the first time. No first drafts or dry runs for you. You’ve got to nail it right out of the gate. Of course you also have to make it look easy.

That’s not to say that you’re a stranger to hard work. Just the opposite. You’re probably prone to over-preparing and you may even be a bit of a workaholic. But when it comes to buckling down to tackle the things that really matter – finishing your thesis, starting the big project, acting on that great business idea – you are a master procrastinator. After all what if you pour yourself into it only to find out you’re not up to the task? Or, worse, what if you actually manage to pull it off… the more you achieve the more they’ll expect it. And if you don’t know how it you did it the first time, how can you possibly repeat your success?

And you know those self-assured types who let criticism just roll off their backs? You’re not one of them. In fact the tiniest hint of dissatisfaction of your work from others can level you emotionally. For you approval is like oxygen!

Sure you’ve done pretty well so far. Some may even see you as quite accomplished. But then again you can probably explain all that right? “The stars were right.” “It was a small candidate pool.” “I just had good connections.” No wonder you often feel like you’ve managed to somehow fly under the radar screen undetected and it’s just a matter of time before you’re “found out.”

Am I close?