Feeling Like a Fraud
By Dr. Valerie Young
“I still believe,” confessed Mike Myers, “that at any time the No-Talent Police will come and arrest me.” Myers is not alone. The question is, why do so many clearly smart, capable, successful people feel like intellectual frauds who are merely impersonating a competent person? Most would consider this a bad thing. But at least one researcher believes that feeling like a fraud is in fact, “deeply wise.”
Most of the people who study the impostor syndrome come out of the field of psychology and therefore tend to trace its origins to either the family/childhood message or to various psychological characteristics like being introverted, pessimistic, Type A personality and so on.
Senior research scientist and associate director of the Wellesley Centers for Women, Dr. Peggy McIntosh was the first to take the unconventional position that, rather than being a psychological ailment, our feelings of fraudulence might indeed “come from deep and wise sources.” McIntosh comes down strongly on the situational nature of impostor feelings, making the point that the places where we feel incompetent and illegitimate are in the public spheres of power and authority. She writes, “I pat our cat and the cat purrs. I don’t feel like a fraud. It’s not the same as getting an A on a paper. When I bring home chocolate mint ice cream, the kids’ appreciation doesn’t throw me into a panic about who I am. I think that being praised for good spaghetti sauce or finding a bargain is not so unnerving as being praised for giving a speech.”
There is a reason why we feel like frauds in some places and not others. To McIntosh these unnerving feelings may not reflect simply a lack of self-confidence. Nor, she says, is it enough to focus on the nuclear family as the primary cause of the impostor syndrome. Rather, the root cause of fraudulent feelings is the fraudulent roles we are asked to play as part of systems of achievement that are hierarchical and competitive.
In a 1985 interview in New England Business magazine, Dr. McIntosh says that, in some cases, a woman’s sense of being a fraud may be an indication of her rejection of the traditional hierarchical power structure. “On the one hand we have to deplore women feeling fraudulent when they reach positions of power, because they are just as capable as men. But on the other hand there may be something deeply wise in feeling fraudulent when the forms you’re asked to behave within are themselves fraudulent,” said McIntosh.
She lays out her thesis in great detail in two thought-provoking Stone Center (Wellesley College) papers “Feeling Like a Fraud” (1985) and “Feeling Like a Fraud: Part Two.” In the first paper she writes:
“We feel fraudulent, I think, partly because we know that usually those who happen to get the high titles and the acclaim and the imagery going with them are not ‘the best and the brightest,’ and we don’t want to pretend to be either. When we entertain nagging thoughts about whether we belong or are deserving to be at the podium, or in the boardroom, or tenured, or giving an interview to a newspaper, or earning a good salary for what we like to do, we may be deeply wise in feeling anxious and illegitimate and fraudulent in these circumstances. Those men who feel the same way in such settings may be deeply wise as well, for the public forms and institutions tend to demand that one appear to be an authority figure, an expert, ‘the best.’ The forms require that one appear to be a person who sets goals and knows how to meet them, a ‘leader’ who is superior in certain qualities to over those who are ‘followers.’ The public forms of and institutions insisting on those images do require fraudulent behavior of us, and they will turn us into frauds if we accept the roles as written. The roles are dishonest and people who are still in touch with their humanity and with their frailty will properly feel fraudulent in them.”
In that New England Business magazine interview she says, “In some ways we have most to fear from those who never felt fraudulent, because they are the people who have never spotted the arbitrary elements in hierarchical arrangements of power. They are the people who buy into the myth that they are the best and the brightest and can see no alternative.”
What do YOU think? Share your thoughts, opinions, and questions here.
Comment by Cathy
I can identify with all of the issues that have been discussed to date. I am dealing with the Imposter Syndrome right now. I am in the process of building a new company, but find myself continually starting and stopping. I have a website that is currently being built, and all I need to do is write the copy and it will be done, but I keep procrastinating. I have a wonderful service to offer - Hand Analysis - and I have done 100+ readings to date and have received rave reviews. But, deep down, I don’t really believe I can do it. Everytime I have a reading to do, I put it off as long as I can. But once I sit down to do it, I LOVE discovering the person’s life purpose and innate gifts. When I share it with them, they are blown away by the accuracy. And yet….I still doubt that I can really do it. It’s crazy!!
Cathy Catlin
The Soul Detective
Surprise, AZ
Comment by Don Newman
As a trolley tour conductor in Savannah, GA who has a Masters Degree in Adult Education (Technology emphasis), I am underemployed at this time. I previously held an Adjunct Instructor position at the local tech college, but ultimately had to take the present full-time position for the health insurance. My current feelings of being an impostor stem from feeling that I should be doing something else, but here I am doing this tourism/hospitality related job when my education and skills could be better used elsewhere. It’s like I know it is temporary and therefore feel like a fake. Couple this with the feeling that my historical repertoire of Savannah is fairly limited (in the great scheme of things) even though I was born and raised here and have more than a superficial knowledge of our history.
It helps me to remember the paradigm shift of the last 50 years which has changed the whole concept of what it is to be an expert; no longer can any professional in any field declare themselves a complete and total expert (i. e. repository of all of the information/data/etc.) within their fields. Rather, since people can not necessarily know (off the tops of their heads) the answers to all the questions confronting them or their organizations at any one moment, the “smartest” or most intelligent people in the world today ARE those who can FIND the answers.
Comment by Michelle Hill
Cathy, Cathy, Cathy,
I can completely relate to every word you said. I find myself in the same cycle of knowing I’m equipped
and loving what I do along with a tremendous amount of self-doubt.
I seem to find the “chase” of marketing exciting, yet freeze when someone is actually interested in my service. I also procrastinate when it comes to completing the exact things I know will propel my business forward - it’s like if I complete my business plan, then I’ll actually be accountable for putting it into action.
When I received my beautifully designed brochures, I was excited for a moment, yet overcome with a mountain of feeling inadequate to take the next step. What if people find out I’m not college educated? What if people find out I’m just a nobody trying to do a big something?
We both need to do what Valarie says and break the old record in our head and heart and play the new record until it becomes the “normal” thought for us; thoughts of success, confidence, and that WE ARE ENOUGH.
Michelle Hill
Winning Proof
Huntington Beach, CA
Comment by Nikki Klein
Valerie,
I am a 36 year old energy conservation specialist, or at least I think I am. I can identify with all of the feelings you’ve talked about. People I love, especially my fiance, often take the time to remind me that I am intelligent, knowledgeable and have achieved a lot. He does that because I forget, or rather I downplay my accomplishments.
I got married just out of high school and started having babies. I was always smart in school, but by the time I hit 23 I felt like the only thing I would ever have in my life was diapers and vomit-soiled clothes. I decided then to do what I always knew I would, enroll in university. It wasn’t easy. I already had two small children in daycare, but I was determined. And I was resolved not to dream small, I wanted to be an engineer. Along the way I had two more babies while in school. I breast fed, I studied, I cared for sick children and I commuted 45 minutes one way for classes.
When I received my Bachelor’s degree, I felt like I had fooled everyone. They really thought I deserved it? Who would hire me…wouldn’t employers see what my professors had failed to? I enrolled in the graduate program hoping that I would gain more knowledge and not feel like an imposter. Two years later, I had a master’s degree in hand. A year later, I packed up my kids and on my own (now divorced) moved us all to Canada to start a new job and a new life.
I had already been in energy conservation through my bachelor’s and master’s studies and had provided service through a Department of Energy sponsored center for 3 years. I still felt like I would be found out. I wasn’t smart enough, I didn’t have enough knowledge. I let myself be pushed into ideas that I knew were faulty because I felt like everyone knew better than me. When people would ask me questions I would freeze, even though I knew the answers. I went through a gruelling certification process thinking that at the end of that I would feel better, but I didn’t. I felt like one false move, one incorrect statement and everything would come crashing down around me.
I still struggle with these feelings. The truth is that I am not passionate about engineering but I chose that route because I knew it would provide well for my family. I’m highly artistic and love photography and art and music. I’ve been thinking of ways to transform my life and tap into those things that I love. I have some great ideas, but I don’t often have the wherewithall to follow through. I defeat myself before I can even get all my ideas out on paper. Luckily my husband-to-be is a big thinker and an innovator and his support and belief are starting to help me believe in myself. I want to LIVE my life, not trudge through it. I have big dreams, and I try to remind myself that I can do anything if I really want it. I have before and I will again…it would just be nice if I weren’t my own worst enemy.
Nikki Klein
Iota, Louisiana
(in transition back to Toronto)
(Ajijic, Mexico on weekends;)
Comment by Marquina
I know that the cause of my Imposter Syndrome is the result of the way I’ve been treated by people who are amazed and, possibly, jealous of the fact that I know as much as I do. Not to sound arrogant, because it’s a fact that some things just stick in my head ready to be spit out to anyone who asks for it.
Some people, family members first (of course), turn it into a competition by asking me all sorts of things I don’t know and then treating me like a fraud or less than I am when I cannot answer them right away. It’s nerve-wrecking!!!
I have, at times, played down being smart to make other people comfortable, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t gain me any friends. And currently, since I am stuck on what-to-do-next, I am doubting that I ever had any abilities at all, no matter what I am good at!
I would LOVE to just be ENOUGH!