Comments for Overcoming the Impostor Syndrome http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog Finding a name for the feelings of being a fraud or a fake or the fear of being "found out." Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:43:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 Comment on What’s Your Competence Type? by Donnie http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/12/10/competence-type/#comment-194 Donnie Wed, 17 Dec 2008 00:21:50 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=41#comment-194 I can take on any one of these internal rules given a different environment. Finally I get it! Melanie I agree with you, I think I should give myself a break too. What a revelation! I can take on any one of these internal rules given a different environment. Finally I get it! Melanie I agree with you, I think I should give myself a break too. What a revelation!

]]> Comment on What’s Your Competence Type? by Melanie http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/12/10/competence-type/#comment-166 Melanie Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:45:01 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=41#comment-166 Before reading this blog I would have said I was a perfectionist, but now I realize my biggest roadblock is collecting roles & needing to shine in all of them. I am Superwoman! I think I should give myself a break. Thanks for the revelation. Before reading this blog I would have said I was a perfectionist, but now I realize my biggest roadblock is collecting roles & needing to shine in all of them. I am Superwoman! I think I should give myself a break. Thanks for the revelation.

]]> Comment on What’s Your Competence Type? by martha http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/12/10/competence-type/#comment-152 martha Thu, 11 Dec 2008 02:03:53 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=41#comment-152 I started listing my accomplishments the other day: Queens Guide, National honor society, class secretary, president of diving club, founder of yoga society, youngest partner in an executive search firm, diving instructor, sailing and rowing licenses, parent of 2, published underwater photojournalist, founder of my own consulting business, etc.... and I wondered why it was necessary to get certificates or levels of competence. One friend suggested I needed recognition - I do not agree as all the certificates are in a box file in the back of a cupboard and not on my wall. I like to feel competent at every interest I pursue and see myself as a life long learner. The difference I believe is a conscious choice between needing the certificates to prove your self worth and wanting the knowledge to make you grow personally. I have been questioned as to why I bother getting certified - for me it is simply a love of learning which I believe makes me a much more interesting person. How much is enough? My list is long and as an extrovert I relish the opportunities to meet new people, explore new opportunities and expand my knowledge. I started listing my accomplishments the other day: Queens Guide, National honor society, class secretary, president of diving club, founder of yoga society, youngest partner in an executive search firm, diving instructor, sailing and rowing licenses, parent of 2, published underwater photojournalist, founder of my own consulting business, etc…. and I wondered why it was necessary to get certificates or levels of competence. One friend suggested I needed recognition - I do not agree as all the certificates are in a box file in the back of a cupboard and not on my wall. I like to feel competent at every interest I pursue and see myself as a life long learner.

The difference I believe is a conscious choice between needing the certificates to prove your self worth and wanting the knowledge to make you grow personally.

I have been questioned as to why I bother getting certified - for me it is simply a love of learning which I believe makes me a much more interesting person. How much is enough? My list is long and as an extrovert I relish the opportunities to meet new people, explore new opportunities and expand my knowledge.

]]> Comment on What’s Your Competence Type? by Cindy http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/12/10/competence-type/#comment-148 Cindy Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:49:19 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=41#comment-148 Well, true confessions of a multi-fraud. I'm definitely a combination of Expert and Perfectionist. First question out of my mouth is always, "How do you do that?" So often I feel that if I don't know how, I can't get started. Second pitfall is knowing that I'm smart and good at what I do (intellectually) but thinking I don't have enough to say about it. If someone says, can you do a presentation on X, I think, "I know a lot about that but what would I say about it?" On my best days I reach out to friends and colleagues who remind me of my greatness, help me get started and then I'm on my way. Love your work, Valerie. Think I'll dive in a little deeper! Well, true confessions of a multi-fraud. I’m definitely a combination of Expert and Perfectionist. First question out of my mouth is always, “How do you do that?” So often I feel that if I don’t know how, I can’t get started. Second pitfall is knowing that I’m smart and good at what I do (intellectually) but thinking I don’t have enough to say about it. If someone says, can you do a presentation on X, I think, “I know a lot about that but what would I say about it?” On my best days I reach out to friends and colleagues who remind me of my greatness, help me get started and then I’m on my way.
Love your work, Valerie. Think I’ll dive in a little deeper!

]]> Comment on Why Do You Feel Like a Fraud? by Valerie Young http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/10/29/why-do-you-feel-like-a-fraud/#comment-123 Valerie Young Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:26:32 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=37#comment-123 Hi Martin, There is no shipping charge if you just purchase the eBook of "How to Feel As Bright and Capable As Everyone Seems to Think You Are"; however, if you purchase the eBook/CD combo there is a charge. The eBook is 124 pages. Valerie Hi Martin,

There is no shipping charge if you just purchase the eBook of “How to Feel As Bright and Capable As Everyone Seems to Think You Are”; however, if you purchase the eBook/CD combo there is a charge. The eBook is 124 pages.

Valerie

]]> Comment on Why Do You Feel Like a Fraud? by mark http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/10/29/why-do-you-feel-like-a-fraud/#comment-122 mark Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:22:14 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=37#comment-122 Can you tell me how big is the book / workshop and why is there a delivery charge if I am only downloading it? Thanks, martin Can you tell me how big is the book / workshop and why is there a delivery charge if I am only downloading it? Thanks, martin

]]> Comment on Embrace Your Brilliance by Della Pitre http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/09/03/embrace-your-brilliance/#comment-73 Della Pitre Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:44:44 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=21#comment-73 Wow...I love when you read something and you get that 'a-ha' moment...what you have said is so true...that little voice inside your head that keeps feeding your self-doubt! I've had that voice for years...and yes, it has held me back for a lot of them. But when I started to do the volunteer work and giving of myself, feeling good about myself, that little voice started being silenced a little more, and a little more...to barely hearing it at all! Mind you, I haven't been pushing to start my business full force yet but the urge and the call is starting to nag at me more and more so the push for me is finally here! That little voice may or may not start at me again...but I must say, the more I worked at the things I love to do and the more comfortable I have become with my passions...the quieter the voices have become! Now I feel ready for the next step in the game and to finally push forward and see what happens from here! Thanks for the new perspective Valerie! You are VERY good at what you do! Wow…I love when you read something and you get that ‘a-ha’ moment…what you have said is so true…that little voice inside your head that keeps feeding your self-doubt! I’ve had that voice for years…and yes, it has held me back for a lot of them. But when I started to do the volunteer work and giving of myself, feeling good about myself, that little voice started being silenced a little more, and a little more…to barely hearing it at all! Mind you, I haven’t been pushing to start my business full force yet but the urge and the call is starting to nag at me more and more so the push for me is finally here! That little voice may or may not start at me again…but I must say, the more I worked at the things I love to do and the more comfortable I have become with my passions…the quieter the voices have become! Now I feel ready for the next step in the game and to finally push forward and see what happens from here! Thanks for the new perspective Valerie! You are VERY good at what you do!

]]> Comment on Embrace Your Brilliance by Della Pitre http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/09/03/embrace-your-brilliance/#comment-72 Della Pitre Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:43:55 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=21#comment-72 Wow...I love when you read something and you get that 'a-ha' moment...what you have said is so true...that little voice inside your head that keeps feeding your self-doubt! I've had that voice for years...and yes, it has held me back for a lot of them. But when I started do the volunteer work and giving of myself, feeling good about myself, that little voice started being silenced a little more, and a little more...to barely hearing it at all! Mind you, I haven't been pushing to start my business full force yet but the urge and the call is starting to nag at me more and more so the push for me is finally here! That little voice may or may not start at me again...but I must say, the more I worked at the things I love to do and the more comfortable I have become with my passions...the quieter the voices have become! Now I feel ready for the next step in the game and to finally push forward and see what happens from here! Thanks for the new perspective Valerie! You are VERY good at what you do! Wow…I love when you read something and you get that ‘a-ha’ moment…what you have said is so true…that little voice inside your head that keeps feeding your self-doubt! I’ve had that voice for years…and yes, it has held me back for a lot of them. But when I started do the volunteer work and giving of myself, feeling good about myself, that little voice started being silenced a little more, and a little more…to barely hearing it at all! Mind you, I haven’t been pushing to start my business full force yet but the urge and the call is starting to nag at me more and more so the push for me is finally here! That little voice may or may not start at me again…but I must say, the more I worked at the things I love to do and the more comfortable I have become with my passions…the quieter the voices have become! Now I feel ready for the next step in the game and to finally push forward and see what happens from here! Thanks for the new perspective Valerie! You are VERY good at what you do!

]]> Comment on Why Do You Feel Like a Fraud? by Stacey http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/10/29/why-do-you-feel-like-a-fraud/#comment-70 Stacey Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:22:52 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=37#comment-70 Hi my name is Stacey Becco, I live in Lexington Ky. I've just relocated here from New York City for the second time. I have two beautiful young adult sons, one who lives on his own and an eighteen year old, enterering college in the Spring 09. I've raised my sons primaily by myself with the help of my extended family, I've earned a four year college degree in May of 07, I'm an textile artist who has exhibited my work, and many other accomplishments and yet I can't see the value in all I've done. I'm having a difficult time finding employment and I just feel like this unskilled person. I know inmy heart that I've raised exceptional young men and that is a huge accomplishment in this day and age. I know that to complete a advanced degree is a great feat for a single mother, finacially and legistically, when considering child care. I still feel like a failure sometimes, and I have to push past my self esteem issues to expand myself and pursue my dreams. Hi my name is Stacey Becco, I live in Lexington Ky. I’ve just relocated here from New York City for the second time. I have two beautiful young adult sons, one who lives on his own and an eighteen year old, enterering college in the Spring 09. I’ve raised my sons primaily by myself with the help of my extended family, I’ve earned a four year college degree in May of 07, I’m an textile artist who has exhibited my work, and many other accomplishments and yet I can’t see the value in all I’ve done. I’m having a difficult time finding employment and I just feel like this unskilled person. I know inmy heart that I’ve raised exceptional young men and that is a huge accomplishment in this day and age. I know that to complete a advanced degree is a great feat for a single mother, finacially and legistically, when considering child care. I still feel like a failure sometimes, and I have to push past my self esteem issues to expand myself and pursue my dreams.

]]> Comment on Why Do You Feel Like a Fraud? by Dawn http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/2008/10/29/why-do-you-feel-like-a-fraud/#comment-69 Dawn Thu, 30 Oct 2008 02:54:03 +0000 http://impostorsyndrome.com/blog/?p=37#comment-69 This question made me stop and take a look at defining "this" this feeling, thought, habit, mentality.. Generational speaking I have strong influences from maternal grandparents (one filipino (lost generation grandfather), one polish(GI generation grandmother - a entrepreneur and maverick in her heyday 1950s).. both came from the "old country" - one born 1899, one 1918 - very old school, depression-era - hard work, 20 years, one company, then retire) My parents (one baby boomer mom (lead by consensus generation) and silent generation dad (lead by authority) influenced my approach to things ideas. For the record, I am considered a part of Generation X or Generation 13, depending on which authority - that would be the 10th(or 13th) generation of Americans born since Virginia Dare. I grew up with the thoughts of - Not rocking the boat, Take care of the company and the company will take care of you..Sticking by the tried and true; sticking with the male point of view because it was weighted heavier/more valid than a female point of view. Children were seen and not heard.. This created self-doubt even with knowledge and know how. It created a constant need to make sure everything was ok. I was second guessing myself, ideas - sometimes to the point where I would talk myself out of things that I was passionate about simply because "I am not good enough.. I am not smart enough.. Maybe this shouldn't be me stepping in to do this.." - Enough to drive one nuts! So, I recognize when this happens and still more forward, but slower. I can tell I do a lot of "dry runs". I will recommend ways, systems, great things to other people.. they do it successfully... and then I may or may not try it. I've started taking those reins back too. Aren't we all simply a work in progress? Thanks for allowing me to share! This question made me stop and take a look at defining “this” this feeling, thought, habit, mentality.. Generational speaking I have strong influences from maternal grandparents (one filipino (lost generation grandfather), one polish(GI generation grandmother - a entrepreneur and maverick in her heyday 1950s).. both came from the “old country” - one born 1899, one 1918 - very old school, depression-era - hard work, 20 years, one company, then retire) My parents (one baby boomer mom (lead by consensus generation) and silent generation dad (lead by authority) influenced my approach to things ideas. For the record, I am considered a part of Generation X or Generation 13, depending on which authority - that would be the 10th(or 13th) generation of Americans born since Virginia Dare.

I grew up with the thoughts of - Not rocking the boat, Take care of the company and the company will take care of you..Sticking by the tried and true; sticking with the male point of view because it was weighted heavier/more valid than a female point of view. Children were seen and not heard..

This created self-doubt even with knowledge and know how. It created a constant need to make sure everything was ok. I was second guessing myself, ideas - sometimes to the point where I would talk myself out of things that I was passionate about simply because “I am not good enough.. I am not smart enough.. Maybe this shouldn’t be me stepping in to do this..” - Enough to drive one nuts! So, I recognize when this happens and still more forward, but slower. I can tell I do a lot of “dry runs”. I will recommend ways, systems, great things to other people.. they do it successfully… and then I may or may not try it. I’ve started taking those reins back too. Aren’t we all simply a work in progress? Thanks for allowing me to share!

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