
Issue 11 | October 22, 2024
IN THIS ISSUE
FEATURED ARTICLE
When it Comes to Impostor Syndrome, Do Examine Childhood Messages – But Don’t Get Stuck There
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Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.
— St. Francis
When it Comes to Impostor Syndrome, Do Examine Childhood Messages – But Don’t Get Stuck There

Even well-meaning parents can inadvertently send messages that impact how competent and confident their children later feel.
If the only response to earning all As and one B is, “What’s that B doing there?” the child quickly learns that the only thing that’s acceptable is perfection.
And for kids, praise is like oxygen.
Other kids earned outstanding grades and yet received no praise at all.
Regardless of the many reasons why good parents might not praise a child for academic achievement, it can set them up for a lifelong craving for approval.
Then there are young people who get a little too much oxygen.
Kids who are constantly told they’re extraordinary, brilliant even.
Sooner or later, they run into something hard – advanced calculus, mastering a second language, art, public speaking which causes them to question their parent’s assessment.
No child is immune from the impact of family messages and expectations.



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The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey helps parents to become well-informed about how our own attitudes and behaviors contribute to the problem.
From a parent’s perspective, she explains what the typical over-protective and loving parent wants to say to their academically struggling kid, what you should say instead, and why.
Do these insights resonate with you? What else should we be writing about now? Tell us by emailing info@impostorsyndrome.com.
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