Coaching People With Impostor Syndrome 

I just received notice from Random House that a publisher in Bulgaria wants to publish my book!

That makes translations in Italian, Korean, Czech, Portuguese, Spanish, Russian (in Ukraine), and later this year, Ukrainian and Turkish.

I’m not telling you this to impress you.

I’m telling you this to underscore that the global demand for solutions to impostor syndrome has never been stronger.

And with that, the need for informed coaches, mentors, and advisors who can effectively address this multifaceted and often highly nuanced issue has never been greater.

How do you become “that coach”?

For starters, you don’t need coaching solutions that are overly simplistic.

You also don’t need solutions that are overly theoretical.

And since you never want to cross the line into therapy, you don’t want solutions that over-psychologize impostor syndrome.

Finally, you certainly don’t want cookie-cutter coaching solutions like “make a list of your accomplishments” or “embrace failure.”

It begins with knowing how to help your clients (or yourself) to “flip the script.”

Not by positioning impostor feelings as some kind of “superpower”

Not by encouraging them to name, tame, or befriend their “inner critic.” 

Or, by assuming that your client’s ability to overcome impostor syndrome relies entirely on you uncovering and healing a core childhood wound… 

I’m not talking about the egotistical braggers whose confidence exceeds their abilities.

You see, the opposite of impostor syndrome isn’t arrogance or incompetence.

The true opposite of impostor syndrome is the person I call a “Humble Realist™.”

Humble realists are not “smarter” or more skilled.

They’re not eternally confident.

The difference is that when faced with the same situation that triggers impostor feelings in your client (or you)…

…like a job interview, public speaking, a promotion…

Humble Realists™ are thinking different thoughts.

To be clear: This isn’t about a pep talk… 

“You’ve got this!” “You can do it!” “You deserve to be here!”

All of which is true.

But when it comes to impostor syndrome, it’s not going to move the needle in any lasting way.

Besides, if all it took were some encouragement, impostor syndrome would have disappeared long ago.

To be truly effective, we must address a normal psychological process known as cognitive distortions.

The American Psychological Association defines cognitive distortions as faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception, or belief.

Examples include over-generalizing, all-or-nothing thinking, personalization (it’s my fault; it must be me), “should-ing,” catastrophizing, and disqualifying positives by attributing them to external factors.

All things people with impostor feelings do.

Key to Change: Understanding Competence Distortions

A central finding from my early academic research was the key connection between impostor syndrome and inaccurate thinking, perceptions, or beliefs specifically about competence.

“Competence distortions” is a term I coined to refer to the idealistic and unsustainable ways we judge our intellect and performance. 

Failure to consistently attain our unrealistic notions of competence confirms we are “impostors.”

Competence distortions are the core of impostor syndrome

Put another way…

If all the other potential sources — societal, familial, situational, occupational, and organizational — vanished tomorrow, but our distorted thinking about competence remained, so would impostor syndrome.

There’s a lot more to it, of course…

But essentially, competence distortions tie into my discovery of what’s become known online as the five types of impostor syndrome.

The 5 Types of Impostor Syndrome.

• The Perfectionist
• The Expert 
• The Natural Genius
• The Soloist
• The Superhuman

(The concept must resonate because, last I checked, the term netted nearly 5 million Google results!)

A big part of unlearning impostor syndrome involves knowing how to help yourself or others to reframe competence.

To be clear, reframing is not the same as coaching clients to “talk to yourself like you would your best friend” or “challenge your inner critic.” 

It’s about knowing how to help them adopt a more realistic understanding of what it means to be “competent.”

And it’s a whole lot easier to fix the way we think than it is to try to “fix” ourselves.

Besides, approaches that stress positive self-talk fail to consider the extent to which people with impostor syndrome conflate competence and confidence.

How in the minds of many people, the fact that they struggle with confidence in the first place, “proves” they must be an impostor. 

This is unsurprising considering the prevalence of promises to “banish your inner critic forever” and “achieve unshakable confidence in yourself.”

But what happens when your client does blow the presentation or the big sale or the moment? (Which being human, they occasionally will!)

Then what?

That’s why you need a proven coaching framework designed specifically for clients with impostor syndrome.

You see, deep down, your clients with impostor syndrome know they are no impostor. 

If pressed, they’ll likely acknowledge that they really do know they have the capacity to achieve most goals they will set for themselves in life.

Not quickly or easily. Not perfectly or masterfully or without help. Not without mistakes, setbacks, or, yes, failure.

But on some level, your clients really do know they can do just about anything they set their mind to.

It is just that all that limiting “impostor thinking” gets in their way.

The Bottom Line:

The only way to stop feeling like an impostor
is to stop thinking like an impostor. 

If you see the value in advanced training and the opportunity to earn ICF CCEs, click here to learn about the new ON DEMAND Impostor Syndrome-Informed Coach™ program now available to anyone, regardless of timezone or schedule.