In 2006, I got a call from Inc. magazine staff writer and now Editor at Large Leigh Buchanan, looking for help with a piece she was writing on impostor syndrome.
None of the successful, and at that time, male business owners she reached out to identified with impostor syndrome. Or if they did, no one would go on record.
How things have changed.
Today men, and it seems everyone, can’t stop talking about impostor syndrome.
Suddenly, the term is everywhere – in song lyrics, movies, television, and endless articles and social media posts.
When the first edition of my book came out in 2011, there were three others on the topic – Pauline Clance’s 1989 book and a self-published one.
When the updated version of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women and Men came out last year, there were over 30 books, most written in the last few years.
Little wonder someone recently poo-pooed impostor syndrome as “a fad.”
I get it.
But not because of its pervasiveness.
After all, depression and substance abuse garner a lot of needed attention, but no one would think of trivializing them as fads.
Part of the problem is impostor syndrome has been used to describe everything from the discomfort of being naked in the lobby of a nudist hotel to one political party in South Africa accusing another of illegitimately taking on the name of a rival party.
More often, though, impostor syndrome has become a catch-all to describe any understandable insecurity or performance anxiety
Nervous before a job interview or making a presentation?
Impostor syndrome.
Anxious about pitching your first client or putting your art out there?
Impostor syndrome.
Surprised you broke the record in wrestling to win a gold medal at the 2024 Olympics?
Impostor syndrome.
If you didn’t expect that last one, well, me either.
That was, however, Olympian Amit Elor’s response to her win.
The athlete, who is the youngest wrestler ever to win gold in this sport, told reporters, “I’m still in disbelief. I think I have a little bit of impostor syndrome. Because… I still feel like that little kid who just started wrestling, but I just became an Olympic champion.”
I can understand being stunned.
But unless this gold medalist:
1) genuinely thinks she’s a less skilled wrestler than she clearly is
2) chalked her win up to external factors like luck, timing, connections, or personality, believing for example that, the judges gave her high marks because they “just like me”
3) is afraid the world will find out she is just posing as an elite athlete
Then it is not impostor syndrome.
I think what Elor had might better be described as:
I’m amazed to be standing here with a gold medal because it IS amazing for ANYONE to reach THE highest pinnacle of success, which requires competing with other extremely talented competitors from around the world syndrome
Perhaps coupled with, It’s surreal to realize a lifelong dream few athletes ever achieve, especially at such a young age syndrome.
Another common misinterpretation of impostor syndrome is to equate it with the discomfort of feeling like you don’t fit in
Kansas City Chiefs football star Travis Kelce’s mother says her son had impostor syndrome meeting Prince William and other celebrities.
And after recently coming out as lesbian, actor Chrishell Stause told a reporter that she, “sometimes feels imposter syndrome because I am late to join the [LGBTQ+ community].”
Let’s start with Kelce.
The second-hand report of impostor syndrome came from his mom, who recounted her famous son telling her, “When you meet people like that, you know when the royals come in or Paul McCartney or Hugh Grant or something like that, somebody’s in the suite, you’re just like, ‘Who in this picture doesn’t fit? Why am I here and why am I even allowed to talk to these individuals? It just doesn’t seem right.”
Kelce’s response is somewhat understandable.
After all, people with impostor syndrome minimize or dismiss accomplishments as a function of luck, timing, personality, or connections rather than effort or ability.
At the same time, the reality is that rather than being an excuse for success, at times these kinds of external factors really do play a legitimate role in success. It’s what we do with them that count.
Arguably, the only reason this American football player got to meet the future King of England and other celebrities has everything to do with his not-insignificant connection in the form of mega-star girlfriend, Taylor Swift.
Even so, impostor syndrome is about achievement
So, unless Kelce thinks he’s less intelligent, talented, or competent than other famous people who’ve never played football or someone who indeed got the job of royal simply by being in the right womb at the right time, then it’s not impostor syndrome.
A better question might be, under the circumstances, how could anyone feel like they “fit” in making small talk with royalty?
In Stause’s case, the experience of coming out and being a part of an entirely new world can be both liberating and stressful.
But unless Stause thinks she’s less intelligent, capable, or competent than everyone else in the LGBTQ+ community and is afraid the entire community will somehow find out… then it’s not impostor syndrome.
If I had to name this experience, it might be, “I came out later in life and don’t always feel like I fit into a community and culture that is all new to me” syndrome.
Feeling like you don’t belong is challenging.
But it’s not the same as impostor syndrome, which, to put it simply, consists of three parts:
1) the belief that you’re not as intelligent, capable, or talented as others think you are despite evidence of past accomplishments or abilities
2) attributing success mainly to external factors
3) the above leads to a fear of being found out
The problem isn’t the overuse of the term impostor syndrome, the problem is its misuse
Dismissing it as a fad ignores the negative impact on productivity, innovation, retention, advancement, career satisfaction, and health and wellness.
It can derail dreams, stall careers, and lead to burnout.
These costs don’t just impact individuals; they cost organizations, too.
Fads go away over time. But impostor syndrome rarely goes away on its own.
The key to unlearning impostor syndrome is to embrace Humble Realist™ thinking.
Click here for the original Inc. magazine article, including about my friend, business owner Bud Stockwell’s experience with impostor syndrome.
